Lords of RPG

The Shit Show with Side Show Shade

Darkhold lived up to the town's name. For things went sideways mere steps from the boat. Shade accosted the prettiest whore in sight. It was something about Famke, witchcraft and if the whore knew about either. She turned to leave and Shade just had to grab her arm. The witch, I mean whore, stuck him like a pig, taking shade completely off guard. I can't tell you what the world looks like from in there. But, Shade must have thought her attentions were foreplay. Because, he took her in a pirouette dance move, where her feet lift off the ground from the centrifugal motion. And, he lets go of her, sending her into the sea, mere feet away. 

She screams all the way to water and makes a large splash, some fifteen feet below.

The adventure has already started? No tavern rumors to measure and no mysteries to solve? Round two began with her two friends rushing to her help. Shade saw fit to burgle the next prettiest whore. You would think eleven Copper and one Gold was a good haul? Oh, something sticky caught Shade's eye, a whale bone diaphragm. You guessed it, he put a hole in it and put everything back! Now that is shady.

Shade blends into the crowd, acting drunk while chugging a healing potion for his stab wound.

Man, this town was boring, no crime, no mysteries and only whores with knives. Shade thought he would take a stroll outside the town...by himself...at night...with no torch...hmm?

Exactly, it took less than one hundred yards for our hero, um... misogynistic walking ball sack, to get stung, knocked out and captured.

The next day Shade thought he had been crucified. Blood was all over him and he was hanging from an 'X'. It took him several minutes to realize that, A) He was not dead, and B) He was tied to the posts, not nailed. The blood was berry based paint. 

Oh no! Here comes Torvi. She looks pissed. Turbo walks up, knife in hand and cuts him down. He flops hard into the ground. Others get him a burlap bag to return to the ship.

Torvi, Timm and Sympos gather info on the Fye. Shade actually remembers something from his childhood about the Fye. They speak Sylvan. Shade speaks Sylvan. 

Shade decides to visit the Fye again. Again? He enters the forest with only his birthday suit and presents. How appropriate. 

The only reason he is still alive is that he was brutally honest and bared the naked truth. He left the Primordial Forest like he entered the world, naked and crying.  The city guard grabbed Shade up for violating the covenant, and he spent a night in jail.  The Baron, wanting no trouble with the Carnival released him to his friends.

The party asked if the logging company needed any help with the Fye. It was discovered that yes, the company desperately wanted help. They wanted muscle. We agreed to give it to them. 

Shade has to sit out of the first round of negotiations. (His face was known to the king pin. Oh, and he robbed his partner the night before.)

The team returned with one amount. Shade went back to apologize and to negotiate a fair tender. All went well and Shade left with near double the rate. He gave all five Carnies the agreed-upon, upfront fee, 10pp now and 60pp after for all five. Shade also brought back notes, maps and scrolls of Fye information.

The real adventure begins. But, I have many a memory and scars to prove we did have adventure in Darkhold.